BocelliOnline

[sj]

I just finished reading this book -- written by a psycholgist (Mary Pipher)-- deals with societal influences on adolescent girls' sense of self -- the author makes a case for negative imagery and objectification that's so prevalent in popular culture leading to young women losing their "true selves", by which she means the adventurous, uninhibited nature expressed before puberty -- I found it informative and disturbing. I read this book to try to get a better understanding of my teenager's behavior. I liked this woman's approach to helping her patients recover their sense of self and her desire to change the messages sent to young women about how they "should" be.

Willma, as this is your field (I think), I'd be interested to know your opinion of this book.

sara

[Willma]

Soooooo delighted that you read this book! I feel her basic idea is simple and powerful. Before the age of puberty, we give boys and girls the same message - go for it! The sky's the limit; believe in yourself! However, after puberty, young girls get a different message - get ready to accommodate because, without attracting a male, you will never truly achieve status in society. The world oof young girls becomes very sexualized - clothing, role models, etc. I think, childhood for girls - the wonder years - ends around 11. How sad!

Our society is deeply saturated with this theme; in fact, it appears natural, the way things should be. However, women do not arrive at a healthy place if they allow this theme to become a strong current in their lives - needy women desparate for relationships, enslaved to some elusive standard of perfection. Awareness will reduce the risk.

And IF you are aware of this toxic attitude, you will see it everywhere, even in the autobiography of Andrea Bocelli where he consistently introduces women into the story by first describing their physical attributes. Men, he describes through achievement and personality. Of course, the role of female accommodation, no questions asked, works well for men. They keep it going by passing themselves off as protectors of the highest order. For us, that's not a good deal.
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Although, in his life, he was often called the imbecile from Illinois, history has proven otherwise.

[Willma]

P.S. It certainly wasn't a good deal for Enrica although Andrea warmed to the fantasy of her being beaten up in a grocery story so he could gallantly come to her rescue and claim her - shape, mold, guide, I believe that is the language he used. She made her escape, as well all know.
_________________
Although, in his life, he was often called the imbecile from Illinois, history has proven otherwise.

[sj]

I agree 100% that awareness is crucial -- I'm not quite certain what's the best way to get this message across to my teenager-- I'm considering having her read the book -- Pipher makes a pretty compelling arguement.

I wonder why things are so different now from when I grew up in the 60's and 70's... maybe things aren't so different --- but things seem a lot harder and more complicated for kids these days. I don't think it was just that my mom stayed home....

[Willma]